Top 10 Reasons To Live In The Time Of The Caesars
(Decem Optimae Rationum Cur In Aevo Caesarum Vivere Iucundius Esset)
X. Calculus won't be invented for another fifteen hundred years.
IX. When you're late on a rainy day, you can always blame the sundial.
VIII. If you piss off one god, you've still got 600 left.
VII. Actors are treated like dirt.
VI. Athletes who complain about their pay end up in an urn.
V. Criminals who get the death penalty think they got off light.
IV. The likeliest place to find some pushy Christian is inside a lion.
III. The French are an ignorant bunch of servile peasants
living in smelly huts, and the Germans are getting their arses kicked.
II. A healthy diet consists of waiting to see if the food taster dies before having anything to eat.
I. Everyone is always dressed for a toga party.